Nevermind the Joneses.

So God has been speaking to me LOUD and CLEAR.  You know what I mean? Those times where every message you hear is about the same thing and every time you open your bible you keep reading the same kind of stuff? And this is what I am hearing:

I am so BLESSED!

I have this file on the computer with stuff I dream about getting when I get rich.  I call it my "Get Rich File".  Here are some of the things I have in it:

Then God spoke to me over the last 2 weeks and told me that it wasn't good for me to be consumed by this desire.  The desire to "Get Rich". 

1 Timmothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

I started to realize that I have SO MUCH! How could I be looking for more? It is hard not to look at someone that has a huge house and nice things and not think, "I wish I could have what they have." But really I should be thinking about people who have less than me and instead of trying to GET more I should be trying to GIVE more!

Look what the rest of the world lives like:

This is how much food the average American household consumes in a week:

And this is the amount of food for a family in Africa for a week:

I hate that I am so focused on ME.  I want to be more focused on others. 

That is my prayer this week.

My friend posted this link on her facebook today and it is a great way to put things in perspective and it is exactly what God has been showing me the last 2 weeks.  Check it out and see how BLESSED you really are. 
Nevermind the Joneses.

I'm Not Better Than Anyone

Yesterday I wrote about how I am a "Jesus Freak". Today I am struggling. I am homesick. I feel sad. I am angry. Just wanted you to know that I am FAR from perfect. I don't even think I am all that good. I thought this poem was appropriate for today:

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

I'm a Jesus Freak!

I told you how I am reading a book about being spiritually bold and I felt convicted that I have not shared my personal testimony on this blog. I figure since I am writing about what God is teaching me on here I might as well start at the beginning of my spiritual journey. So here is the story of how I became a Jesus Freak : )

I was raised in the Catholic church. I went to church every Sunday. I was leader of song for mass. I went to Catholic school. But I never knew God. Sure I knew plenty ABOUT God, but I never really knew Him personally. In fact, I didn't even believe He was real. I just figured it was one of those things that people made up to make life a little better. You know, like the tooth fairy to make kids feel better when they can't chew their food and their gums are bleeding.

So when I went to college I stopped going to church because my parents weren't there to make me. It felt great to finally be able to make my own choice. I was determined to GO WILD at college but God had other plans...

My roommate turned out to be a boring goody two shoes christian girl. YUCK! She was always going to all these bible studies and she never wanted to come out and party. The first few months I was either annoyed with her or I just felt really bad for her for believing in a fake god. But after a while I started to see her differently. She was always so calm. She was so sure of herself. She had this peace about her and she was always happy. I had never met anyone who was like that. Even if she had a horrible day, she was still happy about it.

So one night I got the courage to ask her about it and she invited me to a bible study! My first thought was, "Head for the hills!" but then my roommate told me there would be free pizza. I was a poor, starving college student and free pizza was awefully inticing so I decided to go, just for the food of course. I figured I could listen to her little bible study and find a way to prove to her that God was fake.

Things did not go according to plan. I ate the pizza, but as she led the bible study I realized I was still hungry, not for food, but spiritually. I realized that I was empty inside. I was a shell of a person that was looking for something. I didn't necessarily think her "God" was for me, but I started searching spiritually and asking more questions. I started going to church with her and God started breaking through my walls of resistance to Him. After studying His word I realized He is real.

So during Spring Break my freshman year of college, when I had originally planned to be going wild like any good college student, I was at church instead. When the pastor asked if there was anyone there that wanted to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior, who had been searching for the Truth and wanted eternal life, who knew that they were a sinner and needed God's help, I knew that God was calling me. At first I could not walk forward. I was frozen in fear. Was I really going to do this? After all my years of hateing church, was I really going to make a lifetime commitment to follow the Lord? But then I heard this verse in my head:

Luke 21:19
By standing firm you will gain life.

And it was like God was speaking directly to me. I kept hearing the word "stand" over and over again until I finally stood up, and once I stood up there was nothing left to do but walk forward.

I can't say that I was one of those people who had a dramatic, instant transformation. I screwed up plenty of times after that day. Actaully, I still screw up. But I am starting to screw up less and less. Here I am 8 years later and if you would compare the me now to the me from 8 years ago you would say I am very different. That "goody two shoes roommate" is actually one of my best friends and my idea of "going wild" these days is turning on some music and dancing with my 3 babies in our living room. I married a preacher, which strikes me as ironic. All those years of trying to get away from the preaching at church and now here I am living with a preacher : ) But the biggest change is I KNOW God now, not just about Him. And that is how I became a Jesus Freak!

Being Bold

I am reading this book called "Spiritually Sassy" and it is all about being bold in your faith. I am at a point in my life where I don't feel bold in any area of my life. I seem to have lost my confidence. I just had a baby 3 months ago and am struggling to loose that "baby weight" so I am having issues with my body image. I am living in a new place and although I am trying desperately to make friends, it is not going so well. Maybe I am comming across as too desperate but when I invite other moms over for playdates I keep getting rejected. When I was in college I used to be able to walk into a room full of strangers and talk to every single person there and feel totally comfortable. Now I have trouble even thinking of what to say when I am with friends.

Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I think I lost my focus. I became absorbed with MY life and had less time for others. My focus was on raising my kids and being a good wife. Chasing around a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old while toting along a 3 month old does not give me much opportunity to have adult conversations and the adult conversations I have had for the last 3 years have mostly been with other moms talking about our children.

When I started reading the book I was really skeptical. If I couldn't be bold in normal social situations how on earth could I be bold spiritually. But then the book reminded me that the great thing about being a Christian is knowing that my God is bigger than any problem. By becoming so absorbed in my life I have forgotten to relinquish control to my Heavenly Father...something that is so hard for a control freak like me to do. Oh but when I do! The freedom!

The author put it so simply, "Our boldness is not found in building a better me, or in our self-confidence, but in trusting and relying on God to use us beyond ourselves for His purposes."

So many of us allow the obstacle of fear to tackle us in our minds before we ever venture into the realm of what God is calling us to do. If God calls us to do something, He will more than surely give us the tools we need to accomplish it!

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness though our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

So I am praying for boldness. I am trying to "Let go and let God." To relinquish FULL control over to the Lord in ALL areas of my life. I crave to live radically for Christ.

How about you?

Depression

I think everyone experiences some form of depression at one point in their life. You feel like you are sinking. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and you are teetering on the edge of emotional stability. It is scary being in that place, that very dark place where you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is during these times that you need to hold onto the promises of the Lord.

1. God can carry our burdens. We just have to let him.
Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

2. It is actually a blessing when we experience sadness because it allows God to reveal Himself as our Comforter.
Matthew 5:1-48
Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. ...

3. God is ALWAYS present. Even when we feel alone in that darkness the bible says He is VERY PRESENT and that He will not abandon us like orphans.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

4. Not only is He with us when we are in despair, He goes before us, leading the way through the darkness.
Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.