Psalm 37:3-6 Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
and your justice as the noonday.
Trust is something a lot of people struggle with. A lot of times you put your trust in someone and they let you down. The good news is that God is NOT man. You can put your trust in Him and He will be there! He won't let you down.
I have been homeschooling my kids and this week we have been studying the story of Abraham, Sarah and Isaac. What and AMAZING story of trust this is! Abraham and Sarah learned that God keeps His promises. Abraham's faith by the end of the journey was so great that when God asked him to sacrifice his son, he didn't hesitate! He was able to trust that God knew best.
I wonder if God asked me to do something like that if I would trust Him enough. I would like to say yes, but I am just not sure. Good thing this life is a journey and God is constantly molding us into His perfect, holy creation.
I have this thing I do. I constantly am comparing myslef to other people. I compare my kids to other people's kids. I compare my possessions, my looks, my life, even my eating habbits with other people. A lot of times it makes me feel insecure. I feel like everyone else is doing so much better than I am.
This is no different for me spiritually. I look at the faith of others or the miraculous or wonderful things they have done to advance God's Kingdom and I feel completely inadequate. It is especially difficult when I am married to a pastor whose job is to do these things 24/7. (Not to mention that my hubs is pretty much perfect!)
I read this verse today and it spoke to me:
"Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else." Galatians 6:4
I really need to stop worrying about what other people are doing and focus on what I am doing. God has called me to be a wife and mother, and although I am not speaking to large crowds or writing books like Beth Moore, I am being faithful to what God has called me to do.
What has He called you to do? Have you responded? If so, than you are just as faithful as Beth Moore or Billy Graham! So stop beating yourself up!
My four year old son is constantly saying whining, "I want, I want, I want!"
"I want cereal!"
"I want to go outside!"
"I want, I want, I want!"
I am sure you get the point! He is constantly trying to control us by telling us what he wants. We have been trying to teach him to be grateful for what he has, not ask for more. Then it hit me....
I do this with God! I whine about what I want. I tell God what I want. I get upset when I don't get what I want. What I should be wanting is whatever God wants for me. I should be practicing gratitude, just like I have been trying to teach my son.
2 Corinthians 12:9
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
God's grace should be MORE than enough for me! I don't need anything else!
And God wants what is best for us. AND He KNOWS better than we do about what we need.
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10
Thank you God for using my son to teach me and humble me. Forgive me for all my "I wants". Change my heart and make me want what you want!
I have no problem admiting that I LOVE to be comfortable. And I'm selfish too. Sometimes I can forget all together what this life is really about, which is advancing God's kingdom. You see God doesn't want us to be comfortable all the time. He wants to stretch us. He wants us to grow.
Matthew 16:26 For what profit is it to a man, if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?
Matthew 6:19 Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
Our lives should be about the end result. Our reward in heaven. And we should desire to share this reward, this treasure with everyone we encounter.
Luke 9:23 And He said to them all, "If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever will lose his life for My sake, the same shall save it.
We have to deny our self. Deny our own worldly desires and replace it with the desires of the Lord. James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
God says that we should consider it a joy when we encounter life's struggles because it tests our faith and teaches us to persevere.
So don't get too comfortable with your life. Don't close yourself off to the rest of the world; the lost, the poor, the hurting, the needy. Being a disciple of Christ means that we are called to LOVE all people. So get out of your bubble and get a little messy.
I have never been a patient person. I know what I want and I want it now. I think sometimes I am looking so far ahead to what I want that I lose sight of the present. I have my focus on the future and don't pay attention to how the Lord is at work around me.
Right now I am living thousands of miles away from my friends and family. I am terribly homesick and everything about my current situation rubs me the wrong way. I am so easily frustrated these days. And because all I can focus on is the future of how to get back home, I am missing the good things around me; the opportunity to make new friends, the chance to embrace a new culture and see and try new things. And most importantly, how the Lord is using our family in this place. Just in the last few weeks alone we have witnessed 2 people get saved and will soon be having a baptism!
So I may not be thrilled with where I live but I know that God is going to use it for His purpose, and in the end isn't that all that really matters?
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
This is a song that has been playing on the radio that has really been speaking to me lately:
I lost my keys in the great unknown
And call me please 'Cuz I can't find my phone
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
45 in a 35
Sirens and fines while I'm running behind
Whoa
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
So break me of impatience
Conquer my frustrations
I've got a new appreciation
It's not the end of the world
Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff
Someone save me
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
And I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
Oh Oh Oh Oh
This is the stuff You use
So God has been speaking to me LOUD and CLEAR. You know what I mean? Those times where every message you hear is about the same thing and every time you open your bible you keep reading the same kind of stuff? And this is what I am hearing:
I am so BLESSED!
I have this file on the computer with stuff I dream about getting when I get rich. I call it my "Get Rich File". Here are some of the things I have in it:
Then God spoke to me over the last 2 weeks and told me that it wasn't good for me to be consumed by this desire. The desire to "Get Rich".
1 Timmothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
I started to realize that I have SO MUCH! How could I be looking for more? It is hard not to look at someone that has a huge house and nice things and not think, "I wish I could have what they have." But really I should be thinking about people who have less than me and instead of trying to GET more I should be trying to GIVE more!
Look what the rest of the world lives like:
This is how much food the average American household consumes in a week:
And this is the amount of food for a family in Africa for a week:
I hate that I am so focused on ME. I want to be more focused on others.
That is my prayer this week.
My friend posted this link on her facebook today and it is a great way to put things in perspective and it is exactly what God has been showing me the last 2 weeks. Check it out and see how BLESSED you really are. Nevermind the Joneses.
Yesterday I wrote about how I am a "Jesus Freak". Today I am struggling. I am homesick. I feel sad. I am angry. Just wanted you to know that I am FAR from perfect. I don't even think I am all that good. I thought this poem was appropriate for today:
Christians - By Maya Angelou
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."
When I say.... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
And need His strength to carry on.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
But, God believes I am worth it.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.
When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
Who received God's good grace, somehow!
I told you how I am reading a book about being spiritually bold and I felt convicted that I have not shared my personal testimony on this blog. I figure since I am writing about what God is teaching me on here I might as well start at the beginning of my spiritual journey. So here is the story of how I became a Jesus Freak : )
I was raised in the Catholic church. I went to church every Sunday. I was leader of song for mass. I went to Catholic school. But I never knew God. Sure I knew plenty ABOUT God, but I never really knew Him personally. In fact, I didn't even believe He was real. I just figured it was one of those things that people made up to make life a little better. You know, like the tooth fairy to make kids feel better when they can't chew their food and their gums are bleeding.
So when I went to college I stopped going to church because my parents weren't there to make me. It felt great to finally be able to make my own choice. I was determined to GO WILD at college but God had other plans...
My roommate turned out to be a boring goody two shoes christian girl. YUCK! She was always going to all these bible studies and she never wanted to come out and party. The first few months I was either annoyed with her or I just felt really bad for her for believing in a fake god. But after a while I started to see her differently. She was always so calm. She was so sure of herself. She had this peace about her and she was always happy. I had never met anyone who was like that. Even if she had a horrible day, she was still happy about it.
So one night I got the courage to ask her about it and she invited me to a bible study! My first thought was, "Head for the hills!" but then my roommate told me there would be free pizza. I was a poor, starving college student and free pizza was awefully inticing so I decided to go, just for the food of course. I figured I could listen to her little bible study and find a way to prove to her that God was fake.
Things did not go according to plan. I ate the pizza, but as she led the bible study I realized I was still hungry, not for food, but spiritually. I realized that I was empty inside. I was a shell of a person that was looking for something. I didn't necessarily think her "God" was for me, but I started searching spiritually and asking more questions. I started going to church with her and God started breaking through my walls of resistance to Him. After studying His word I realized He is real.
So during Spring Break my freshman year of college, when I had originally planned to be going wild like any good college student, I was at church instead. When the pastor asked if there was anyone there that wanted to accept Jesus as their Lord and savior, who had been searching for the Truth and wanted eternal life, who knew that they were a sinner and needed God's help, I knew that God was calling me. At first I could not walk forward. I was frozen in fear. Was I really going to do this? After all my years of hateing church, was I really going to make a lifetime commitment to follow the Lord? But then I heard this verse in my head:
Luke 21:19
By standing firm you will gain life.
And it was like God was speaking directly to me. I kept hearing the word "stand" over and over again until I finally stood up, and once I stood up there was nothing left to do but walk forward.
I can't say that I was one of those people who had a dramatic, instant transformation. I screwed up plenty of times after that day. Actaully, I still screw up. But I am starting to screw up less and less. Here I am 8 years later and if you would compare the me now to the me from 8 years ago you would say I am very different. That "goody two shoes roommate" is actually one of my best friends and my idea of "going wild" these days is turning on some music and dancing with my 3 babies in our living room. I married a preacher, which strikes me as ironic. All those years of trying to get away from the preaching at church and now here I am living with a preacher : ) But the biggest change is I KNOW God now, not just about Him. And that is how I became a Jesus Freak!
I am reading this book called "Spiritually Sassy" and it is all about being bold in your faith. I am at a point in my life where I don't feel bold in any area of my life. I seem to have lost my confidence. I just had a baby 3 months ago and am struggling to loose that "baby weight" so I am having issues with my body image. I am living in a new place and although I am trying desperately to make friends, it is not going so well. Maybe I am comming across as too desperate but when I invite other moms over for playdates I keep getting rejected. When I was in college I used to be able to walk into a room full of strangers and talk to every single person there and feel totally comfortable. Now I have trouble even thinking of what to say when I am with friends.
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself. I think I lost my focus. I became absorbed with MY life and had less time for others. My focus was on raising my kids and being a good wife. Chasing around a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old while toting along a 3 month old does not give me much opportunity to have adult conversations and the adult conversations I have had for the last 3 years have mostly been with other moms talking about our children.
When I started reading the book I was really skeptical. If I couldn't be bold in normal social situations how on earth could I be bold spiritually. But then the book reminded me that the great thing about being a Christian is knowing that my God is bigger than any problem. By becoming so absorbed in my life I have forgotten to relinquish control to my Heavenly Father...something that is so hard for a control freak like me to do. Oh but when I do! The freedom!
The author put it so simply, "Our boldness is not found in building a better me, or in our self-confidence, but in trusting and relying on God to use us beyond ourselves for His purposes."
So many of us allow the obstacle of fear to tackle us in our minds before we ever venture into the realm of what God is calling us to do. If God calls us to do something, He will more than surely give us the tools we need to accomplish it!
2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness though our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.
So I am praying for boldness. I am trying to "Let go and let God." To relinquish FULL control over to the Lord in ALL areas of my life. I crave to live radically for Christ.
I think everyone experiences some form of depression at one point in their life. You feel like you are sinking. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and you are teetering on the edge of emotional stability. It is scary being in that place, that very dark place where you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is during these times that you need to hold onto the promises of the Lord.
1. God can carry our burdens. We just have to let him. Matthew 11:28-30
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
2. It is actually a blessing when we experience sadness because it allows God to reveal Himself as our Comforter. Matthew 5:1-48
Seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down, his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. ...
3. God is ALWAYS present. Even when we feel alone in that darkness the bible says He is VERY PRESENT and that He will not abandon us like orphans. Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
4. Not only is He with us when we are in despair, He goes before us, leading the way through the darkness. Deuteronomy 31:8 It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
In today's society it is so easy to feel alone, even when you are in a room of complete strangers. Rather than having one on one conversations we would rather text someone or write on their facebook wall. Don't get me wrong, I love social networking. I just think that it has become a crutch for a lot of people and has made it easier to have superficial friendships. Sure you may have 400 friends on your friend list, but how many really know what you are struggling with?
The bible tells us that it is important to have friends:
True Friends Strengthen and Help Each Other Ecclesiastes 4:9–12
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
So maybe today you should leave your comfort zone and try to be a real friend to someone. They are probably just as lonely as you are...
It has been so long since I have blogged what the Lord has been teaching me on here. Maybe it is because I haven't really wanted to learn it. God called my husband and I to move to a new place and to start a new job. The calling was clear and yet I was still reluctant to leave. I left my family, my friends, my support system, my routines, my home, my perfect weather to support my husband in his calling to be a pastor. And since we have arrived all I have done is complain. It is funny because even reading this I realize how selfish and childish I sound...MY home, MY friends, MY weather. MY, MY, MY. It's all about me, me, me when it is supposed to be about HIM, HIM, HIM.
This makes me think about King Nebuchadnezzar. You can read about him in the book of Daniel. Basically he was a very successful king who had lots of accomplishments. He took credit for all of his work and did not credit God with any of it. And God gave him plenty of chances.
First Nebuchadnezzar had a dream about the future and no one was able to interpret it until Daniel came along and told him the meaning and that the dream was from God. Nebuchadnezzar was in awe and placed Daniel in a high position, but he still did not turn to God. Then Nebuchadnezzar tried to burn Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego alive but God saved them. Nebuchadnezzar even saw a 4th in the fire with them and yet he still did not turn to God. Finally he had another dream about a great tree and in the dream he saw a messenger:
Daniel 4:13-17 “In the visions I saw while lying in bed, I looked, and there before me was a holy one, a messenger, coming down from heaven. He called in a loud voice: ‘Cut down the tree and trim off its branches; strip off its leaves and scatter its fruit. Let the animals flee from under it and the birds from its branches. But let the stump and its roots, bound with iron and bronze, remain in the ground, in the grass of the field.
“‘Let him be drenched with the dew of heaven, and let him live with the animals among the plants of the earth. Let his mind be changed from that of a man and let him be given the mind of an animal, till seven times pass by for him.
“‘The decision is announced by messengers, the holy ones declare the verdict, so that the living may know that the Most High is sovereign over all kingdoms on earth and gives them to anyone he wishes and sets over them the lowliest of people.’
Daniel interpreted this dream and warned the king that he was the tree and that if he did not turn to God that he would be thrown out from his kingdom and wander like an animal for 7 years. The king STILL did not turn to God and a year later this is exactly what happened. He wandered like an animal for 7 years until he finally praised God and the Lord restored Nebuchadnezzar back to his throne.
So I know I need to learn the lesson that Nebuchadnezzar did. I am learning about faith and trusting in God's plan over my own. I know God is in control. I have seen His miracles. I recently gave birth to a baby who the doctors said I was miscarrying! God is bigger than what I want. I long for the comfort of my home but at the same time I know I am where God wants me to be. Maybe, like Nebuchadnezzar, I was a tree that got too big and needed to be chopped down so that I could learn to rely on God.
Don't miss out on the lessons God is teaching you. He knows everything and is everywhere.
Psalm 139
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
